These days, farmers spend all their time moaning about supermarkets or shooting badgers while a robot milks the cows. But 500 years ago, it wasn’t nearly so much fun.
On Tudor Monastery Farm (9pm, BBC2, 13 November) we saw a collection of novice farmers endure “long lost methods” like “sunrise starts” and ploughing fields by hand. It was a different world back then, a full 200 years before the industrial revolution. Big Henry VIII was on his way to the throne, a fatso with a zero-tolerance approach to nagging and a love of drumsticks eaten with pudgy fingers and slathered in sauce. What a legend. And as the Godfather of BBQ, he would no doubt have approved of the Tudors’ decision to start breeding pigs. I can’t see Henry VIII saying no to a bit of pulled pork.
As for the farmers, they all took it terribly seriously, acting all earnest and worthy. Yes, there was forensic historical accuracy, but any amusement was off the agenda. Instead we learned how the Tudors built a fence, followed by a bit about hedges, then some calligraphy, then clothing… after 20 minutes I was wondering how they planned to string this dullard of a show out for another five hour-long episodes. It took me back to school, when the teacher wheeled in a video and you got all excited, but ended up slack-jawed, slumped over the desk, wishing you were dead so it would just end.
Finally, after a bit about chisels, it did. And without a sizzling spit-roasted pig or a murderous monarch in sight. Shame on you, BBC. Off with your heads!
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