Quotes of the year:

“The police arrested me for defrauding Tesco. They later raided my house and took a lot of stuff. Fortunately they didn’t check the attic!”
Henlans, the ‘master shopper’, on his arrest for exploiting supermarket loopholes

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“Colin Graves was offered the non-executive chairman position. Colin didn’t wish to accept as he wanted to pursue new opportunities”
Costcutter’s understated statement on the departure of founder Colin Graves

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“Beer laced with performance-enhancing ingredients isn’t actually illegal, but it’s definitely frowned on“
James Watt, BrewDog co-founder, on launching Olympic beer Never Mind the Anabolics

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“It’s been a 24/7 job for the past six years and I’ve got a long-suffering family that hasn’t seen much of me”
Peter Marks, outgoing Co-op CEO on announcing his retirement

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“A clandestine prostitute was provided on a buying trip to the United States. The buyer didn’t know she was paid by the supplier”
Anonymous industry source gives an eye-opening account of the true extent of bribery and corruption in grocery

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“My constituency is proposed for abolition by the Boundary Commission at the next election so I may be returning to the retail sector sooner rather than later!”
Philip Davies, MP for Shipley West and former Asda marketing manager

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“Fmcg brands make people buy stuff they don’t need every day. We want them to communicate this. We need bravery. It’s pathetic”
Darrel Webber, Roundtable on Sustainable Palm Oil secretary general, on hearing that only 3% of shoppers recognise the RSPO logo

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“If even the best of teams is to succeed, it must have only one captain”
Richard Brasher, outgoing Tesco UK CEO, on announcing his departure

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“Spoons are drug paraphernalia, apparently. I was dumbstruck The’s Grocer’s spoon shortage is a crisis. Heroin was furthest from my mind”
Elinor Zuke, The Grocer’s senior reporter, on being asked for ID to buy spoons at Sainsbury’s

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“The sector’s worsened dramatically since we began Ugo’s journey. We’d have achieved in normal conditions”
Arthur Harris, Ugo founder, on announcing the demise of the company

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“Not just a rip-off, a complete & utter shambles. They were charging £2 for a ‘Diet Coke’ which turns out to be Sainsbury’s own-brand”
One outraged parent after the botched Jubilee Family Festival

 

Review of the year 2012