I don't know which is Sarah Brown's supermarket of choice, but when I received an email last week in the distinctive lumpen prose of El Gordo I thought I'd better sit up and take notice. He may not have a real job for much longer but there's still plenty of time for some prudent fiscal realignment vis-à-vis DRIP. "Pumsey. Need some spin. Man of the people shops like the people, and all that. Find me a supermarket close by and get the hacks and snappers there for 9.00 on Thursday. GB" It won't surprise alert readers that the closest store to No. 11 is a Tesco Express. I commissioned the DRIP pricing team (Mrs Rolfe was tea lady) to conduct hasty research using the methodology that's made The Grocer 33 the gold standard of statistical precision. Luckily for the president-elect, neeps and tatties were cheapest at Tesco. Well, sort of. They were exactly the same price at Sainsbury's and Morrisons, proving once and for all the power of competition. Oddly, the high price of turnips pushed the Bentonville Bruiser into fourth. Ah, well. Job done, and the Browns will have their rendezvous with Fleet Street's finest, although if it's Tesco Finest he ends up buying then it may not do much to his constitution if you see what I mean. Talking of reforming things, it was heartening to receive a call from the newly enlarged ranks of Asda spin doctors, burbling with glee over their plans to remove artificial sweeteners from their shepherd's pie. Now all they have to do is put some actual meat in. And it was equally heartening to wake up this morning to see that King Justin's efforts are bearing compostably packaged fruit. Those of his hapless shareholders still smarting at the retreat of the private equity billions will no doubt take comfort at his expansion plans. My spies at the Holborn Coliseum say any similarity with what Peter Davis may have attempted is purely coincidental.