It's a brilliant victory for common sense. How otherwise could any sane individual characterise the strategic genius behind the fearless Hydra that is the grocery regulatory system in the UK? Yes, folks, Marc Bolan may have wielded his mighty black pudding last week and lopped off one of Fingleton's fearsome heads, but lo! An equally fearsome countenance appears in its place, ready to smite fag-sellers.
And of course it is no coincidence that a packet of death sticks costs the same at Justin's Mags 'n' Fags of Stroud as at Tezza's Multimart of Balls Pond Road. The proof? They both put prices up by EXACTLY the same amount, just after the Budget! A smoking gun if I ever saw one.
And that's not all. Fingleton's gorillas were choppered on to rooftops across the country on Thursday, armed with Section 27 notices demanding the nation's tormentors drop everything for the 724th day running and print off every e-mail in the building in triplicate, including Bondandybond's invoices from the Shane Warne Hair Clinic and Peter Marks's Divi statement (all 957 pages).
Fingleton's new target is toothpaste. How clever of the grey masterminds behind P&G, Unilever and the wicked cartel that is British grocery to co-ordinate price rises on Silvikrin . It's just as well that no-one has thought of price fixing in things such as cars, petrol, banking or big tellies. No, deodorant is where the blood money is to be found. It is time I laid modesty aside and claimed full credit for coordinating the week's events.
But before I win an honorary Grocer Gold, think of the alternative. The Competition Commission has spewed forth its worthless utterances, the crowning glory of two years of fatuosity and incompetence. Their work done , all these regulators would be on the loose if it were not for the OFT. Frankly it's my duty to society to keep them off the streets.
And of course it is no coincidence that a packet of death sticks costs the same at Justin's Mags 'n' Fags of Stroud as at Tezza's Multimart of Balls Pond Road. The proof? They both put prices up by EXACTLY the same amount, just after the Budget! A smoking gun if I ever saw one.
And that's not all. Fingleton's gorillas were choppered on to rooftops across the country on Thursday, armed with Section 27 notices demanding the nation's tormentors drop everything for the 724th day running and print off every e-mail in the building in triplicate, including Bondandybond's invoices from the Shane Warne Hair Clinic and Peter Marks's Divi statement (all 957 pages).
Fingleton's new target is toothpaste. How clever of the grey masterminds behind P&G, Unilever and the wicked cartel that is British grocery to co-ordinate price rises on Silvikrin . It's just as well that no-one has thought of price fixing in things such as cars, petrol, banking or big tellies. No, deodorant is where the blood money is to be found. It is time I laid modesty aside and claimed full credit for coordinating the week's events.
But before I win an honorary Grocer Gold, think of the alternative. The Competition Commission has spewed forth its worthless utterances, the crowning glory of two years of fatuosity and incompetence. Their work done , all these regulators would be on the loose if it were not for the OFT. Frankly it's my duty to society to keep them off the streets.
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