The news that noted gourmand David Beckham will open a restaurant with Gordon Ramsay at Borough Market in September is surely final proof that the old place has given up its foodie heaven status and become just another London tourist trap. Surely the remaining real stallholders will gang together, light their ancient grain loaves and march, flaming batons in hand, on the new interloper. And given David’s oft-stated claim that his favourite food is pie and mash, even soccer star-crazed diners may find the fare a bit thin.

Nevertheless, Karoline (with a K) is hoping that we get the launch PR job, already casting herself an outsize (and somewhat more mature) Rebecca Loos. The rest of us hate restaurant PR, because it’s badly paid and excruciatingly boring (same job every time, just a different name). Also, restaurateurs, who will happily spend thousands on the right light fitting, statement toilet and hand-carved endangered-wood bar top, share the unpleasant combination of marketing tight-fistedness and generously wandering hands.

Still, at least they generally know about food. More than half of people who buy Quorn are not vegetarians, according to new research. Another survey has shown that more than half of the population has no sense of taste, so the Quorn guff is not surprising after all. There’s a whole industry devoted to creating statistics “for PR purposes” (as opposed to statistical use). So don’t be surprised by this week’s revelation that “Britons will spend £62m to celebrate the birth of the Royal baby”. In fact, the spending has already started, mostly on booze in my household, but it’s not in celebration, rather to blot out the approaching tide of cash-in nonsense. Cheers.