Cake Wars: Witches vs Warlocks - supercharged spooky Bake Off

Americans love to grab Halloween by its kitsch plastic devil horns and pump it full of steroids.

While I was bobbing apples out of my mum’s washing-up bowl, kids in the US were gathering in weird vigilante gangs of ghouls and egging neighbours’ picket fences. And as they headed to ‘scare parks’ so terrifying they’re handed a safe word with their ticket (before being chased around by chainsaw-wielding ‘actors’) I sipped Lambrini wearing cat ears at my mates’ house party.

So what else would you expect from US show Cake Wars: Witches vs Warlocks (ITVBe, 25 October, 7pm) than sugar-spun crystal balls, a spongy Devil torturing souls in a strawberry icing hell and phrases like “I’m going to carve the kraken out of the pumpkin” from teams wearing badges that (in all seriousness) read ‘Sugar Psychos’?

The Great British Bake Off this was not. Flustered bakers worrying about soggy bottoms were replaced by professional cake artists carving ‘Killer Selfies’ out of glistening sugar, complete with narcissist millennials being sucked into their own tablets and full-scale warlocks battling with witches on a bed of chocolate gateau.

Hollywood handshakes had no place here, as slick judges delivered lines like “I appreciate a good body bisecting” and marvelled at sugar dragons pumping out golden smoke.

Not exactly low key, then. But hidden among the lashings of rich melodrama and sickly sweet victories were huge amounts of talent and artistry I fear could put our reserved British efforts to shame.