As credos go ‘what would Beyoncé do?’ is ideal if caught dumbstruck on the dancefloor or searching for a multimillion-pound silver lining to your husband’s infidelity. As for sensible nutritional advice? Well, we can do better than following the words of a woman who has lived off (alternately) cayenne pepper with lemon water, and spoonfuls of maple syrup. Sadly her ridiculous regimens aren’t even the worst crash diet offenders, according to Diet Secrets & How to Lose Weight (Channel 5, 16 January, 8pm).
There’s the ‘Sleeping Beauty’ diet, where you crash out on sleeping pills long enough to forget to eat. The one where you eat naked in front of the mirror and, I suppose, contemplate your hideous reflection. And the one where you ditch food and consume all the calories to be found in the ‘energy of the universe’ instead.
The fact that these will all make you sad, hungry, unhealthy and, cruellest of all, heavier in the long run, has done little to dissuade armies of dieters. The average woman apparently spends a shocking £25k on diets in her lifetime.
Thankfully, though, there are signs this is changing. Not least as five years ago this same show would likely have been touting the merits of detox juice cleanses or Atkins, whereas in 2018 it was full of solid expert advice and cautionary tales. The message was pretty clear: you might be stuffed with turkey and prosecco but eating like a caveman/fasting/detoxing (delete as appropriate) is as likely to send you crashing into depression or the doctor’s office as it is to send your weight plummeting.
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