Do better than saying ‘hope you’re well’ in emails with the push/pull method

Since the first email was sent in 1971, we’ve been using the phrase “hope you’re well” at the beginning of our messages. I suggest we make a significant change to this outdated practice.

It’s one of the first things you read in an email, and we all know how important first impressions are. Even if it’s not the first email you’ve sent the person, it says something about you each time. Using “hope you’re well” says… nothing.

It says that you don’t know what to say – so you’re going for the ubiquitous greeting used by everyone else. You are a sheep. Not a thought leader. It’s the equivalent of the paper straw cover in McDonald’s. It’s meh. It’s also pretty obvious – it would be weird to hope the recipient was anything other than well, wouldn’t it?

Even the shortened form annoys me. If you absolutely must attempt to convey this message, please write “I hope you are well”. Moving on…

Copywriters know every sentence has to earn its right to exist and to encourage the reader to read the next line. So how about we retire this old timer and replace it with a more useful model?

In the world of influencing, one of the most successful techniques is the push/pull influencing technique. I am sharing this because we can use it as a new model. A brief explanation of the technique first: ‘Pushers’ share what is in their head, while ‘Pullers’ ask what is in your head. Both approaches are valid. The challenge is firstly to know which one you are naturally, and secondly to choose whether to pull or push in any given situation.

For example, during a presentation, you might notice the audience aren’t listening. Stop and ask a question – this is a pull. Or sometimes you need to speak up in a meeting and share what you’re thinking – a push. Can you identify a puller and a pusher within your business?

Replace formulaic email phrases like “hope you’re well” and “how are you?” with pushes – “Last weekend I took the kids to the see the latest Marvel film” – or pulls: “What was great about your weekend?” The reason this replacement is important is because of the trust model. One of the key four parts of the trust model is intimacy: how much the person you’re talking to knows about you and vice versa. By pushing and pulling over time we get to know each other more, which builds the intimacy part of the trust model.