When we invented Blue Monday (‘the worst day of the year’™) it was supposed to grow just like other fictitious events (Fathers’ Day, St Paddy’s, Easter) into a vast money-making scheme for retailers. Not, as it turned out this year, an excuse for a couple of dodgy happiness surveys and a chance for local radio dimwit DJs to play lame New Order records.

If you won’t seize the opportunity chaps, there’s not much we can do, is there? Next year I want to see Blue Monday greetings cards, blues-busting superfoods, some kind of insurance product and a no-win-no-fee legal service, ready to sue the government and God on behalf of daytime TV viewers.

Now that Which? has declared nutritional therapists to be “quacks” and a danger to health, we’re angling to win the reputation restoration campaign that will inevitably follow (though whether anyone takes any notice of Which? any more who can tell? They seem to me to be a bit like the Reader’s Digest but angrier and in polo necks and sandals).

Anyhow, Karoline (with a K) immediately came up with the theme ‘Give A Charlatan A Second Chance’ as a way of “capitalising on the negative” and appealing to the endearing but essential stupidity of the therapists’ customer base. The general opinion in the P&F office is that this ranks alongside her campaign for Japanese mushrooms, Keep Taking The Shiitake, as the least likely to succeed.

I’m gradually realising that this mix of delusion and supreme self-confidence is the way to get ahead in PR. Clients believe what you say as long as you’re dressed in couture and look slightly psychotic. It works for all the best food PRs in London anyway!