Prawns

At networking events it can be hard to know what to say to your fellow attendees

The word ‘networking’ makes most people shudder. People tell me “I’ve no idea what to say”, “I lack confidence”, or “I’m not sure what I get from it”. The last phrase is usually an excuse for the first two.

In 1996, when I was in my mid-20s, I got invited to the World Prawn Forum – yes, it existed! I was a Sainsbury’s buyer. I tried to convince my boss it would be a waste of time, but he was steadfast. “We buy a big percentage of the prawns in the world, and we must attend.” I went. It was a posh do in an historic building with 250 people. There were no mobile phones, so I couldn’t pretend to look at mine. Instead, I stood like a lemon at the edge of the room. It was excruciating. I hated it and vowed never to do it again.

Of course, I had to. And eventually I had to get stuck in. It wasn’t easy. Here’s what 20 years of networking in person and online have taught me about how and why we must network.

  • Paying it forward is the key. I truly believe that if you network for your own gain, you’ll fail. If you do it to help others, you’ll be successful. It’s one of the six laws of persuasion – reciprocity. The world has a way of looking after good people.
  • When I talk to some people about networking, you can see they don’t get it and don’t want to. “But Darren, we have a process for getting that done!” I reply: “I agree, yes, your business does have a process for that, but you could get it done quicker if you knew Bob in accounts who looks after payments.”
  • Go on LinkedIn, at least weekly and post or comment, or reach out to one person. Otherwise, when you come to need your network, they’ll ask why they should help you when you weren’t around to help them.
  • At the Christmas office party, speak to one person you haven’t done so before. You never know when it might come in handy.
  • Connect people, whether on LinkedIn or face-to-face. “This is Sue, she works in supply chain and Paul works in NPD – you’ve just met a cool person” (the last part I stole from Ted Lasso).
  • Here’s a sentence to say at a face-to-face networking event: “Hello. I don’t know anyone here. May I join your group, please?” Every time I have done this, people have been so welcoming.
  • Stephen Covey’s fifth habit: “Seek first to understand.” Ask about them. People love to talk about themselves.

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