It’s the nature of rankings like Britain’s 100 Biggest Brands that there are winners and there are losers. Or, to put it more generously, those that won less than others.

Mars fell 20 places in this year’s list, which The Grocer’s editor, Adam Leyland, put down to a series of own-goals – like failing to shout loud enough about its actually-rather-successful reformulation, or letting the generously proportioned John Barnes anywhere near a camera. (That called to mind the old joke that if, as they say, the camera adds 10 pounds, how many cameras must have been on him at the time?)

For better or worse, Mars has long been aligned with the England football team. And while you can’t blame the chocolate bar for England’s dismal World Cup performance – it may have helped them work and rest, but it didn’t seem to help them play – this is an interesting moment to be trumpeting the tie-up, with disdain for our national team arguably at an all-time high.

Any other time and the latest promotion would be a sure thing – win the chance to play on Wembley’s hallowed turf and get to train with England ‘heroes’ past and present. And what boy wouldn’t give his right shin-pad for the chance to do keepy-uppies with legends like Leighton Baines, say, or Phil Jagielka?

Listen to the radio phone-ins (someone else does, presumably) and you’ll hear less than articulate evidence of the fans’ apathy towards the limping Lions.

Then again, the chance to give Frank Lampard a crunching reducer between the cones is something all but the Chelsea die-hards would surely relish. Perhaps Mars is playing a blinder after all.

More slices of Daily Bread

Topics