If I had been in charge of the projector for Morrisons, something as suggestive as a baguette would have been more appropriately positioned on the Angel Of The North. Although strictly speaking, angels have no sex, at least that’s what the Rev Tremble used to say in the sixth form at St Joanne’s, although he always added: “Except you Titty, obviously,” under his breath afterwards.

Secondly, projecting things is quite expensive and Morrisons is not known for big-spending stunts. Or small-spending stunts come to that. We’ve tried to sell our clients on the joys of huge illuminations (BT Tower reimagined as a carrot; pot desserts playfully tumbling around Trafalgar Square) but when we get to the £25,000 price tag, they lose interest or say things like “I’ve got a projector in the loft, won’t that do?”

Actually, things look desperate in the dessert sector: Müller is reaching out to the over-80s by launching a Cadbury’s Roses pot. “It can’t be long before the All Gold mousse or the Black Magic blancmange,” barks Karoline (with a K) as we look on blankly. “They were chocolates, dears,” she explains, “which men used to give to women in the days before equality.”

She clearly went on a lot of dates. Which perhaps explains her enthusiastic support for No Diet Day this week. This stumped a few of us in the office because we’ve got to the point where it’s no longer possible not to be on a diet. The No Diet Diet is just another diet for the busy PR girl about town. Meanwhile, the beetroot bandwagon shows no sign of slowing down, with yet more hype (well done Beetroot Bureau) about its miraculous benefits. Time for Morrisons to project a couple of beetroot breasts somewhere suitable.