Donald is on holiday. This week’s guest column has been provided cheaper than any one else by Bondandybond, UK Ambassador to the Empire of Walmartia.
I’m a down to earth guy, as I was telling one of my publicists just the other day. When I don’t cycle the 140 miles to work from my humble home in most of Harrogate I take the Mini. Like most of the kids I went to school with I have regular profile pieces in the Sunday papers, but what’s so funny about that, as long as it’s not more than every three weeks or so?
That’s what people don’t understand about me. I don’t envy his lordship ‘Sir’ Eltel Leahy or that big wuss at Sainsbury’s with his permatan – King Justin, that’s the one. Oh sure, they get the big bucks. But I’m happy just to be part of a team, running a great British company. I was born in Grantham, did you know that? Maggie Thatcher was from there, too. Although we’ve nothing else in common. No way! Except groceries.
Hobbies? You’ll find me most evenings playing footy with some of my closest mates who also – funny really – happen to be board members. I’ve never been beat yet! Except that one time we took on the board from Bentonville. They won quite convincingly, I recall. Yes, we like to have a bit of fun and games with the guys from America. No, we don’t have a stock market listing or pay much in the way of corporation tax here and our profits go straight to Arkansas. But Asda is a proudly British institution as most of the people spending their money in Asda are British, and you can’t argue with that. Underneath the green livery, we’re red, white and blue, 110% of the way.
So no way will you change me! Although it’s possible that I might just consider moving south one day.
I’m a down to earth guy, as I was telling one of my publicists just the other day. When I don’t cycle the 140 miles to work from my humble home in most of Harrogate I take the Mini. Like most of the kids I went to school with I have regular profile pieces in the Sunday papers, but what’s so funny about that, as long as it’s not more than every three weeks or so?
That’s what people don’t understand about me. I don’t envy his lordship ‘Sir’ Eltel Leahy or that big wuss at Sainsbury’s with his permatan – King Justin, that’s the one. Oh sure, they get the big bucks. But I’m happy just to be part of a team, running a great British company. I was born in Grantham, did you know that? Maggie Thatcher was from there, too. Although we’ve nothing else in common. No way! Except groceries.
Hobbies? You’ll find me most evenings playing footy with some of my closest mates who also – funny really – happen to be board members. I’ve never been beat yet! Except that one time we took on the board from Bentonville. They won quite convincingly, I recall. Yes, we like to have a bit of fun and games with the guys from America. No, we don’t have a stock market listing or pay much in the way of corporation tax here and our profits go straight to Arkansas. But Asda is a proudly British institution as most of the people spending their money in Asda are British, and you can’t argue with that. Underneath the green livery, we’re red, white and blue, 110% of the way.
So no way will you change me! Although it’s possible that I might just consider moving south one day.
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