Marmite

I wish there was a good expression for when people either love or hate something, don’t you? You know, like they do with Marmite (£1.29).

The funny thing is I completely sold out last week, even some of the jars that have been there since that nice Mr Lewis worked for Unilever, which he says is now a nasty bossy company that doesn’t have my best interests at heart as a small shopkeeper and consumer.

And there was silly old me confusing Unilever with Tesco all these years! Anyway, it doesn’t matter because now it turns out everyone is friends again, it was all part of Project Fear and prices won’t go up after Mrs May closes the Channel Tunnel after all.

So it’s lovely that no one is talking about Brexit any more - just a storm in a teacup. Although that funny Mrs Tacon who drops in every time she goes to work (twice a week) for a big box of Viennese Whirls (89p) and some Kalms (£5.49) says she might now be given something to do, which she didn’t like at all, the poor dear.

It seems Mrs James, the Minister for Shops and Stuff Like That, is enforcing the government’s drive to slash red tape by asking Mrs Tacon to regulate food really very hard indeed to make sure it costs a lot more than it needs to and life is therefore fair on farmers.

She says those rustic chaps at the NFU are all in favour - they’ve even devised a brilliant way to pay for it! All we need to do to fund the extra regulation is to add it on to the bill that shops already have for Mrs Tacon.

Like dear Uncle Bill used to say, amazing how cheap things get when somebody else has to pay for it.

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