So Pepsi disappeared from Sainsbury's shelves during Britvic's 'trade dispute' (aka hissy fit).

Did anyone notice? I mean, would anyone buy Pepsi on purpose if they could get Coke?

Of course not, but that doesn't stop we PRs taking the money, invoking St Jude (the patron saint of lost causes) and getting down to work. 

Hence plans for a huge 'celebration' of Pepsi's return. We had booked the cheerleaders, created Pepsi fountains and hired the usual orange tartlets to hand out samples at every Sainsbury's store when the call came through from Chelmsford.

"Sod all that. We're going to do a buy-one-get-two-free offer. May as well, we're more or less giving it away now anyway."

Left twiddling my cola-stained thumbs, I'm idly flicking through FPJ when I spot news of Del Monte's latest exercise in sheer stupidity. They are trialling a "single banana pack format" in the UK. In other words, a banana in a plastic bag.

Now call me a dizzy blonde PR bimbette, but even I know that nature provides single bananas with adequate packaging of their own. Unfortunately I can't air these thoughts because we have just been retained by the Food Packaging Alliance to promote greater use of plastics wherever possible.

We've already persuaded one retailer to introduce individually encased sprouts under the banner 'Better Wrapped Than Wrinkly'. This was Karoline (with a K)'s idea after her latest lover turned up in see-through underpants.

A stiff drink is needed to blot out this image but the forces of temperance seem to be ratcheting up the anti-drinking rhetoric daily. We're fighting back online on behalf of our raft of booze clients with a 'How to drink at your desk' app.

I suspect most staff here don't need any help in that department, though.

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