Given Daddy’s longstanding and frequently expressed hatred for Bloody Europe, we were all quite surprised in the extended Touché family when he announced he wanted to become an MEP. And for UKIP too, which meant a bit of a swing to the left. Anyway, he’s off to Brussels with a clear single issue to pursue, following a briefing from his dearest daughter.

Can he please do something, I lobbied, about the bombardment of terrible generic EU-funded food campaigns - I’m thinking Parmesan and olive oil, but there are more, many more - being foisted on us by big agencies. It’s about time small agencies (he can use P&F as an example) were allowed to do some terrible (but expensive) EU-funded promotions too. We can translate lame pan-European advertising lines into broken English just as efficiently as the big boys.

Especially in the afternoon, ie after a drink, when everything is a little more ‘creative’. On which front there are two good news stories to report. Firstly, at the time of writing we are one day into minimum alcohol unit pricing and it hasn’t had any negative effect on my consumption. In fact, it might have stimulated it a bit by flagging up just what good value units of Bollinger are at Asda (£3.50), compared with units at Tesco (£5). Secondly, according to The Guardian, wines and spirits are getting stronger. This is fantastic news because it will help to keep Karoline (with a K) motivated as she spends the summer progressing through this season’s fashionable drinks. Apparently English wine producers are claiming that demand for their rosé is set to grow. And that’s best progressed through as quickly as possible.

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