From the ashes it rose – a gleaming purple-fascia’d phoenix that soared briefly, yet gloriously, across the retail sky.
And back to ashes it has returned, with a sickening thump, to be tilled into the earth as food for the worms.
That’s probably a bit harsh to call insolvency specialists ‘worms’. Still, less than two years after Woolworths’ clammy air conditioners wheezed their last, the heir to its battered crown, Alworths, has gone the same way.
You could argue that a business plan based on nostalgia was never likely to succeed in the long-term – although the Diana-like outpouring of grief when Woolworths shut up shop suggested there was at least a few quid to be wrung from the pockets of misty-eyed pic’n’mixers.
Either way, today’s retail landscape is no place for sentimentality. Alworths failed to hit its target of 22 stores by the end of last year. And now it never will.
Oddbins today also officially entered administration, bowing to what became inevitable when HMRC last week turned down its offer of 21p for each of the eight million pound coins it was owed.
Deloitte, which is tasked with finding a buyer, says there has been plenty of early interest from potential buyers. But then it would, wouldn’t it?
While Majestic Wines reacted to the downturn by lowering its minimum order, it’s hard to know what Oddbins could really have done to reverse the long, slow death of the high street off-licence. Its business model is terminally ill-suited to today’s retailing realities.
But then as the Alworths experiment demonstrates, even in these dark days, optimism can still triumph over common sense.
Look out for a new branch of Albins, or Oddworths, on your high street soon. Just don’t blink, or you’ll miss it.
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