A lot of people simply don’t want the human interaction, thanks. For every individual moaning loudly about fewer checkout staff meaning they miss out on a good wittering, there is an introvert who could do without feeling judged on their purchases and the excruciating small talk.

Probably more. When it comes to buying groceries, only 17% of Brits consider human interaction important, according to a 2018 study by Whistl. Nearly two-thirds were found to prefer to use self-checkouts, and that was before the pandemic.

But that doesn’t mean the machines should lack a bit of human brio.

Weeks after it emerged Tesco would be removing the main banks of manned checkouts from a raft of its larger stores, the supermarket has launched a TikTok campaign to find the new voice of its self-service checkouts.

Sound move. Immediately, all those negative headlines that suggest job cuts in a cost of living crisis are replaced with something a lot brighter.

It’s practically guaranteed to be a viral smash. What influencer wouldn’t want to be heard regularly across the nation by millions? And, as proven by death metal vocalist Hunter Black screaming his answers, it’s clearly ripe for humour. (Tesco will no doubt be enjoying the fact rival Aldi’s social team have – finally – been shown wanting with their just-not-all-that-funny response.)

But more than that, it’s a clear recognition of the importance of the self-checkout as a channel. Given the machines are increasingly the only ‘touchpoint’ between retailer and shopper, it makes good sense to make the most of it (besides, Amazon Fresh’s complete lack of any interaction isn’t exactly going great). The pre-loaded manufacturers’ choice of voice simply isn’t good enough anymore (indeed, Tesco replaced the original checkout voice in 2015 after customers found it “shouty” and irritating”).

Other retailers have toyed with the voice. Ant and Dec, along with Amanda Holden and Alesha Dixon, voiced M&S self-service tills in 2019 as part of a Britain’s Got Talent promotion. Poundland has starred Yoda, Santa and Dracula on its machines. But most have settled on a clear and concise – and too often robotically dull – voiceover artist.

It’s not known yet who Tesco will choose. Perhaps there’ll be more than one per region, with the accent of the area? It almost certainly won’t be a cyborg-esque Siri or Alexa-style voice. And in doing so the machines will be transformed from labour-cost saver of a huge corporation to ‘one of us’ – someone who doesn’t care about the weather either.

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