Unless you're Hannibal Lecter, having your boss to dinner can only end badly.
Food poisoning, drunken rows and the sack are obvious dangers and there's always a chance they'll nab your spouse with their effortless authority and raw sexual charisma.
Even worse, you could end up in a bizarre hybrid of Come Dine With Me and The Apprentice that somehow manages to be both more generic and more tenuous than either. The Boss Is Coming To Dinner (all week, 6pm, Five) was that show.
It's a widely known, and completely untrue, fact that what you say is far less important than how you say it. So the odds seemed good the contestants duking it out for a job would attempt to divert attention from the drivel they were talking by subtly dribbling mousse down their chin.
Sadly, the food took a back seat. Julie, the beauty parlour big-shot doing the probing, gave the first main course 10 out of 10 before even tasting it.
If it made sense that a beautician would have a keen eye for appearances, it was harder to explain why either contestant would want to work for a boss who boasted she wouldn't "tolerate sickness on any level". That might be admirable in a moustache-twirling Victorian physician crazed with ambition, but it's hardly indicative of a supportive employer. (Also in Julie's bad books: "hormones" and Sagittarians.)
At first there was little to separate the two contestants, except that eager-beaver Lizzie was desperate for the job and aspiring DJ Holly clearly didn't give a monkey's. Both served up salmon "on offer this week" quipped the voiceover, but perhaps a nod to the expanses of raw, pink flesh the winner would see doing 'Brazilians' all day.
Lizzie soon emerged as the superior candidate so it was in keeping with the show's drably surreal air that Julie picked the other one. Then we learnt there were three more heats to endure before the final on Friday a prospect too depressing to countenance.
Still, with Five last month being taken over by porn baron Richard Desmond, presumably the next series will involve more than dinner. That'll really sort out which contestant wants it the most.
More from this column
Food poisoning, drunken rows and the sack are obvious dangers and there's always a chance they'll nab your spouse with their effortless authority and raw sexual charisma.
Even worse, you could end up in a bizarre hybrid of Come Dine With Me and The Apprentice that somehow manages to be both more generic and more tenuous than either. The Boss Is Coming To Dinner (all week, 6pm, Five) was that show.
It's a widely known, and completely untrue, fact that what you say is far less important than how you say it. So the odds seemed good the contestants duking it out for a job would attempt to divert attention from the drivel they were talking by subtly dribbling mousse down their chin.
Sadly, the food took a back seat. Julie, the beauty parlour big-shot doing the probing, gave the first main course 10 out of 10 before even tasting it.
If it made sense that a beautician would have a keen eye for appearances, it was harder to explain why either contestant would want to work for a boss who boasted she wouldn't "tolerate sickness on any level". That might be admirable in a moustache-twirling Victorian physician crazed with ambition, but it's hardly indicative of a supportive employer. (Also in Julie's bad books: "hormones" and Sagittarians.)
At first there was little to separate the two contestants, except that eager-beaver Lizzie was desperate for the job and aspiring DJ Holly clearly didn't give a monkey's. Both served up salmon "on offer this week" quipped the voiceover, but perhaps a nod to the expanses of raw, pink flesh the winner would see doing 'Brazilians' all day.
Lizzie soon emerged as the superior candidate so it was in keeping with the show's drably surreal air that Julie picked the other one. Then we learnt there were three more heats to endure before the final on Friday a prospect too depressing to countenance.
Still, with Five last month being taken over by porn baron Richard Desmond, presumably the next series will involve more than dinner. That'll really sort out which contestant wants it the most.
More from this column
No comments yet