The 12th series of Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster kicked off last week. The guest of the comical podcast’s latest episode (online now) is stand-up Michelle de Swarte, whose menu picks in ‘the dream restaurant’ are described at various times as “sad”, “ridiculous”, “awful” and “f***in’ bangin’”.
In reality, they’re just kinda quirky – especially her choice of starter: a cup of coffee and a Lost Mary Triple Melon. This sparks a chaotic discussion about Allen (not Alan) Carr’s self-help books, types of melon, and the sinful pleasures of “moist” Bakewell pudding.
De Swarte’s love of vaping makes a lot of sense given she’s a former model, who worked “before the body positivity movement” and had to be as thin as “two eyeballs floating around”. Her typical diet was plenty of cigarettes – sometimes accompanied by a fellow model’s “fluffy raisins from her pocket”.
Lost Mary isn’t the only fmcg brand to get a shout-out. Liquid Death also comes under scrutiny. The canned water “takes a bit of getting used to”, says de Swarte. But it “looks like a beer” – handy when wanting to secretly hydrate at a music festival.
The hosts are divided about the American challenger. Acaster is baffled by the water’s branding, while Gamble digs its heavy metal vibes.
The hot takes keep coming from the three comics: mac & cheese is acceptable only when made to a southern US recipe; seltzer doesn’t have enough flavour; chip shop chips go well with salad cream. It’s all very silly and quite a lot of fun.
No comments yet