Squirrels have a top velocity of 12mph. Even the red ones, despite their aerodynamic flared ears and insatiable avarice for nuts. In fact, the only ones that go faster are dead ones, falling vertically out of trees.

So it’s hard to qualify the English Provender Co’s boast that its Very Lazy chopped garlic is “faster than squirrel chased by bear”.

Aptly, the new ad is a Slightly Lazy riff on the iconic Borat character that crudely yet 100% accurately lampooned Eastern Europeans for their casual racism, comical facial hair and touching fascination with primitive technology.

Much like the product he’s selling, “champion chopper” Lazlo Vaslavsky is not quite the original and is far from essential but it’s near enough to confuse a hungry punter and makes up for a lack of originality with endearing enthusiasm.

Be afraid of a ribald Bruno spoof for Mattessons Smoked Pork Sausage.

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