Pop came a step closer to finally eating itself this week with the news that the NFU has penned a festive song - The 12 Foods of Christmas.
The song is a revisionist cover of the classic about five gold rings and a bunch of other things you can't remember, swapping in festive foodstuff for the bits about leaping lords and pickled pipers.
The song excises French hens for 'roasted spuds' - presumably sourced from Britain - and ditches maids a-milking in favour of pails of Camra-approved 'frothy ales'. No mention of meat inspectors a-striking or suppliers sinking.
"We were looking for a fun way of promoting www.ukturkeys.co.uk, and recording a Christmas song seemed like the ideal way of doing it," insisted NFU web flunky Helen Cotterill.
Should you feel the urge, you can read the full lyrics on said website, although the accompanying Mp3 file plays a bizarre dance instrumental missing the burly voices of NFU members.
Nevertheless, it's an improvement on the infamous Stand By Your Ham anthem adopted by UK pig farmers. And if it keeps Sir Cliff's R&B version of Ave Maria off top position in the hit parade come 25 December, they'll have done us all a favour.
The song is a revisionist cover of the classic about five gold rings and a bunch of other things you can't remember, swapping in festive foodstuff for the bits about leaping lords and pickled pipers.
The song excises French hens for 'roasted spuds' - presumably sourced from Britain - and ditches maids a-milking in favour of pails of Camra-approved 'frothy ales'. No mention of meat inspectors a-striking or suppliers sinking.
"We were looking for a fun way of promoting www.ukturkeys.co.uk, and recording a Christmas song seemed like the ideal way of doing it," insisted NFU web flunky Helen Cotterill.
Should you feel the urge, you can read the full lyrics on said website, although the accompanying Mp3 file plays a bizarre dance instrumental missing the burly voices of NFU members.
Nevertheless, it's an improvement on the infamous Stand By Your Ham anthem adopted by UK pig farmers. And if it keeps Sir Cliff's R&B version of Ave Maria off top position in the hit parade come 25 December, they'll have done us all a favour.
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