You would be forgiven for thinking there wasn’t much news around. Even those of us obsessed by the grocery trade (not me obviously, but I try to keep up appearances) would have been surprised to hear Morrisons’ decision to reduce the price of 135 (count ‘em) products trumpeted on the BBC’s bulletins. And by an average of 14%. Woo. ’Today’ listeners will have been scampering down to Morrisons in their jimjams to hoover up the slightly cheaper oven chips.

Now that summer’s here, Karoline (with a K) has begun to billow like a galleon in full sail whenever she moves, as several acres of tailored (engineered?) chiffon struggle to keep up. She is adamant, however, that her ample frame a) doesn’t exist, and b) if it does, then it’s definitely not due to sugar. K thinks she’s spotted an opportunity and is thus launching an initiative even more exciting than 135 price cuts. Stand up if you can and welcome the Alliance for Responsible Sugar Enjoyment. It’s a gathering of sugar producers (both of them), food brands (the sweeter the better) and bent nutritionists (remarkably quick with their invoices). Or it would be, except that nobody other than the bent nutritionists has gathered yet. When they do, we have campaigns such as ‘Taking out sugar means sweet FA’ all ready to go, cunningly linking a miserablist low sugar lifestyle with World Cup humiliation. On topic, or what?

When I was at school they used to punish us by showing a film called Let’s Go To Birmingham. Proof that the world has indeed gone mad is Birmingham’s list appearance as the 14th most popular staycation destination for Brits this year. Now that is news.

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