The sprint for the office kettle: a rare chance for the adminisphere’s bottom-feeders to put one over the high-fliers, big-hitters and over-achievers who are promoted ahead of them simply because they work harder, dress properly and didn’t drunkenly assault the boss at last year’s Christmas party.

Winning the race may not make up for the years of envy and resentment bubbling up like a microwaved Pot Noodle, but Uncle Ben hopes the plaintive cry of “rice time!” will “add some excitement to lunchtime” in the airless cubicles of white-collar Britain.

In a twist that was presumably meant to seem enlightened, the hyper-competitive males are thwarted by the one woman in the office a leggy blonde that your dad would have called a ‘dollybird’. Mainly, it seems to imply that Uncle Ben thinks women belong in the kitchen.

Topics