Having lost its sub-Mumford faux-folk band at a festival somewhere, Richmond is focusing on the family with its new sausage ad. Specifically, the family argument.

As teatime looms, two young lads fight theatrically. Thankfully, a Richmond peacekeeper soon turns up. His outfit (somewhat crassly) references the UN get-up, though he does have a dove on his shoulder, which the Blue Berets haven’t tried yet - take note, Ban Ki-moon!

Peace-man opens his case to reveal a semi-automated Richmond kit, and hypnotises the bickering bairns with his suspiciously smooth sausages. “No bits,” he promises, sagely.

It’s not artisanal or particularly original, but parents will surely savour the silence he leaves behind him.

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